As professionals, we’re all on a journey. But what if I said to you that your journey would never end?
What would you do if you were told you would never reach your destination?
These questions are thought-provoking. However, they can lead to an important realisation when embarking on any challenge – personal or professional. The realisation that without a purpose, the direction you choose to take has less chance of you reaching milestones and crossroads on your way.
Enough of the hyperbole.
The Personal
In my personal life to date, and much like many others, I’ve established strong friendships and shared very personal experiences with those I care about. From an early age, the ‘typical’ life stages and relationships are made clear to consist of:-
- Nursery/Preschool
- Primary School
- Secondary School (perhaps including boy/girlfriends)
- College (with continued/other boy/girlfriends)
- University and Graduation
- First professional job
- First car, or first property
- Marriage
- Job change(s) or promotion(s) – perhaps many
- Kids (or pets)
- Family home
- Retirement planning
- etc, etc, etc
In all reality slight variations of this occur, but there is a general sequence to it.
It was some years ago now, but towards the latter stages of the above. A very good friend followed this very sequence, admittedly similar to my own, and we were going through the same challenges and triumphs together. Then things changed. Over a beer, I understood that they found themselves unexpectedly at a crossroad where their direction suddenly changed with significant impact to all around them. It was a shock at the time, but I found myself asking them the obvious question:-
“What happened?!”
I wasn’t ready for the answer.
“I’m tired of following other people’s expectations. It’s not what I wanted.”
The response in the moment was incomprehensible to me. I couldn’t conceive how a decision to undertake any of the above could have come from anything but a deliberate choice. After all, the main person satisfied by the choice is the person making the choice… right? Right?!
The more I contemplated, and as time passed, I increasingly realised how easy it could be to follow a path set out by others; or to follow a path that has become a normality, without feeling the empowerment to challenge it.
The Professional
In time and over a number of years, I noticed the same being all too easy in professional careers too. Whether it’s for career progression, promotion, pay scale, grade, or certifications and credentials, the question that repeatedly comes to mind is:-
“Why?”
“What for?”
Here are some of the answers that I’ve heard in the past:-
“Because it’s the next one [on the list/ladder]“
“Because I want the badge”
“I want [something e.g. more money], and I understand I’ll get it if I do this”
“I want to be a judge of others”
“Because it’s the best you can [get/achieve]“
One thing you could say about all of the above is that they’re all focussed on a destination – a specific point of reference described as a terminus. The badge. The money. The power. The status.
In these circumstances I find myself asking a question that normally stumps most people I’ve asked.
“What do you expect to get from that?”
The “so what?”… typically prompts a pause and some contemplation, where it seems the purpose of the direction they are travelling in may not have been considered enough. Only that they have an expectation that it’s what they want, need, or is right for them.
The Takeaway
Let me be clear. I’m not passing judgement about what is right for others. There are plenty of books that provide lists, describing – some in instruction form – the “5 ways to achieve your goals” or “3 steps to success” and so on.
With this article I aim to perpetuate the idea that people have a greater chance of achieving what they want by making a conscious and considered choice; rather than focussing on the destination, or following a path that could well be not their own. The inefficient outcome would be to realise late that they are going in the wrong direction and have to take a detour or retrace their steps.
To carry on the food theme, consider going to a supermarket to shop for a meal. Without a purpose, you may chance upon enough ingredients to make a beef stew. But with a shopping list, you’ll be able to make a Boeuf Bourguignon!
“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it’s supposed to be.”
Jeremy Binns
The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the authors only, and do not represent or reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organisation, employer, or company. Assumptions made are not reflective of the position of any entity other than the author(s). Since we are critically-thinking beings, these views are always subject to change, revision, and rethinking at any time. Please do not hold us to them in perpetuity.
